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I’ve tried to understand why music is so important to me so, so many times. And I’ve never figured it out. I’ve never been able to really identify the specific reason behind the incredible impact music has on my life.
Today, after a bunch of very confusing, sad and stressful weeks, I got it.
I’ve always seen music as something fulfilling my life: something that comes to enrich it, something that makes it easier or even more unforgettable, something that marks the very best or intense moments of it.
And sure it is. But in these last few weeks I’ve really perceived the power through which music is coming to me, perfectly laying on what I’m living. As never before, I’m experiencing the perfect correspondence between something sung by the artists I love the most and my life right now.
Every song in my iPhone reflects something of me and my life, but sometimes I feel like music can sort of anticipating and explaining my life even better than any possible attempt of mine. From the very first time I ever listened to “A change of heart” by The 1975 I felt a strong connection to the song’s atmosphere, which broke me to tears even before a single word by Matt Healy was sung in it: just a matter of days and now it perfectly describes my feelings for having being let down by someone I so strongly fought for and opened my hear to. “You use to have a face straight out of a magazine, now you just look like anyone”… yeah, can’t wait for the day I’ll finally be able to sing it out loud with a smile upon my face. Then, yesterday I randomly listened to Carl Barat’s “Irony of love“, after ages: this to soon (aka some minutes later) find out that the biggest love of my life is about to become a father. And over and over again, with songs such as “FaultLines” by Dirty Pretty Things and “Iceman” by The Libertines telling about me and my actual mood way better than what I’d be ever able to do myself.
So, my first truth is that music is actually telling me about my life.
Then, the second point: this is about to the way I feel anytime I live music. It being a gig, a song in my earphones, an aftershow chat with my favourite band, a beautiful hug with one of the artist and man I admire the most: no matter what, in music I just feel alive. I feel like I have no need for an excuse or an explanation, I feel thoughtless and fearless, I just get my own peace of mind to really feel my true self. And that “self” lost into the music is the version of mine I like the most: with no regrets, no doubts, no stress but just emotions and joy of living.
I’d love to always feel like I do when I’m listening or somehow standing close to music: because in music I don’t feel I need anything else, myself is more than enough and I’m happy with it. Plus, in music all barriers fall down: barriers of language and distance, as I am able to meet and interact with people from other countries; barriers of fear, as I managed to go travelling by myself around Europe just two days after Brussels attacks; last but not least, barriers between people. Yes: physically, thanks to the lovely chance of knowing and talking to people I always listen to in my earphones, and virtually as well. Because there is a person, so special and unique to me, who constantly talk to me through his music: for a series of twists and misfortunes, I never get the chance to meet him or talk to him, it’s like I can’t find a way to catch him as I do with all of his bandmates. This can be kind of frustrating sometimes, ‘cause I’d desperately love to chat with him, maybe hugging him a bit to try to thank him somehow.
But there are other times, like these strange ones I’m living now, in which I feel grateful, despite it all: because I realize that even if he’s far away from me, he actually isn’t. Music gives me the chance to ear from his voice, to know about his mind and soul and to live him through his songs. So, in my own world, the special one music allows me to live in, he is close to me, just like he would if he was sitting next to me right now. If I close my eyes, here he is, and I can’t do anything but feeling grateful for loving him that much: and this gives me happiness and peace. That kind of feelings I can’t really feel in my own life right now: here’s music coming to comfort me and making me feel the real me when my everyday life can’t.
So, here’s my second truth: music is not just completing my life, music is completing me. Or, should I say, music is just making my life and myself? Who knows.
All I know is that you were right, dear Friedrich: “Without music life would be a mistake”
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